Wives are to be "keepers at home." (See Titus 2:5). This instruction involves keeping the home neat and clean and providing an atmosphere which is conducive to the goals and needs of the family. Her husband will usually have a preference of areas that he would like to have kept neat. The more confused his "working world," the more necessary it is to have order in his home.
If the wife does not have the natural abilities to be organized, it would be wise for her to get counsel from another woman who has the spiritual motivation of organization.
There is, however, another side to this problem: What should a wife do if a husband has messy areas that are an irritation to her? The testimony of the "Messy Table" provides direction for this problem.
"The battlefield of our home and marriage was a messy dining room table. My husband used it as a 'catch-all' for his papers and belongings and refused to keep it neat. I could keep the rest of the house clean, but he wouldn't let me touch 'his' table.
"After years of trying to overlook this irritation, I had found that I had produced deep feelings of anger, frustration, and bitterness toward my husband.
I was humiliated whenever guests would arrive. I just knew they were judging me by the appearance of all that clutter. In desperation, I sought help. Another Seminar alumnus reminded me of what we heard on Thursday evening about responding to sources of irritation.
"I was willing to thank God for the table, but I couldn't see any reason for His allowing the irritation to be there in the first place. My friend gave me a project that I thought totally impossible, but it proved to be the turning point in rebuilding the spirit of our marriage.
"The project was simply to list all the spiritual benefits for the messy table. I assured my friend that I wouldn't be able to think of any, but I agreed to write down any that might come to my mind.
"After a few weeks I still couldn't think of any, but I asked God to show me some, if there were any. By the end of four months, I was amazed and excited at a list of ten attitudes which God was beginning to build in my life because of that messy table. Humility was the first one. Every time a guest looked at that table I learned a little more humility and remembered God's promise in James 4:6, "...God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the 'humble.' With all that grace, I found the desire and power to develop the nine qualities of Galations 5:22-23.
"Love, by overlooking the table as a proof that I love my husband; Joy, resulting from building character in my life; Peace, by not being troubles by temporal concerns; Patience, by not giving God a deadline to remove the problem; Gentleness, in my responses to my husband and family; Faith, in visualizing how God is using the table for my spiritual growth; Meekness, by giving up my rights to a clean table; Godliness, by learning God's responses to situations resulting from the condition of the table; and Self-control, by quickly obeying the promptings of the Holy Spirit whenever I see the messy table.
"Without realizing what was happening, that table had taken on a whole new meaning for me. I can honestly say that I am thankful for it. In fact, if my husband were ever to clean it up, I would want to retain in my mind a picture of a messy table."
Part 3
If the wife does not have the natural abilities to be organized, it would be wise for her to get counsel from another woman who has the spiritual motivation of organization.
There is, however, another side to this problem: What should a wife do if a husband has messy areas that are an irritation to her? The testimony of the "Messy Table" provides direction for this problem.
How a Messy Table Rebuilt the Spirit of a Marriage
"The battlefield of our home and marriage was a messy dining room table. My husband used it as a 'catch-all' for his papers and belongings and refused to keep it neat. I could keep the rest of the house clean, but he wouldn't let me touch 'his' table.
"After years of trying to overlook this irritation, I had found that I had produced deep feelings of anger, frustration, and bitterness toward my husband.
I was humiliated whenever guests would arrive. I just knew they were judging me by the appearance of all that clutter. In desperation, I sought help. Another Seminar alumnus reminded me of what we heard on Thursday evening about responding to sources of irritation.
"I was willing to thank God for the table, but I couldn't see any reason for His allowing the irritation to be there in the first place. My friend gave me a project that I thought totally impossible, but it proved to be the turning point in rebuilding the spirit of our marriage.
"The project was simply to list all the spiritual benefits for the messy table. I assured my friend that I wouldn't be able to think of any, but I agreed to write down any that might come to my mind.
"After a few weeks I still couldn't think of any, but I asked God to show me some, if there were any. By the end of four months, I was amazed and excited at a list of ten attitudes which God was beginning to build in my life because of that messy table. Humility was the first one. Every time a guest looked at that table I learned a little more humility and remembered God's promise in James 4:6, "...God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the 'humble.' With all that grace, I found the desire and power to develop the nine qualities of Galations 5:22-23.
"Love, by overlooking the table as a proof that I love my husband; Joy, resulting from building character in my life; Peace, by not being troubles by temporal concerns; Patience, by not giving God a deadline to remove the problem; Gentleness, in my responses to my husband and family; Faith, in visualizing how God is using the table for my spiritual growth; Meekness, by giving up my rights to a clean table; Godliness, by learning God's responses to situations resulting from the condition of the table; and Self-control, by quickly obeying the promptings of the Holy Spirit whenever I see the messy table.
"Without realizing what was happening, that table had taken on a whole new meaning for me. I can honestly say that I am thankful for it. In fact, if my husband were ever to clean it up, I would want to retain in my mind a picture of a messy table."
Part 3
Posts
