Have you heard the saying,“If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” When you think about it, it’s a very true statement. Mothers play a large part in setting the tone of our homes. Are we cranky, short tempered, critical, and impatient...or do we display kindness, patience, and show love? Peaceful homes are made up of peaceful people, and it stems from having peace within our hearts. If you do not have a peaceful home, or if feel that you could be doing better, let’s look at Scripture to see what might be causing the problem in this area.
Why People Fail To Produce FruitIn Galatians 5:22, the third fruit of the Spirit is peace. If you are a Christian and you want the fruit of the Spirit to develop in your life, the only way it will happen is by growing closer to the Lord. Why would people fail to produce these fruits of the Spirit? Let’s look into Luke 8, where Jesus explains the parable of the four soils: The first group in verse 12 was like those religious people who refused to believe God’s message.
The stony ground people in verse 13 trusted God, but never got around to doing anything about it. Materialism overcame the thistle patch people in verse 14, and left nowhere in their lives for God. The good soil people followed God, no matter what the cost. I suggest that if you belong to anything but the good soil
group, you will not have peace in your life or in your home.
Is there is a reason why the devil is taking the Word from your heart before that Word can sink in? In Psalm 139:23 we see that David asked God to “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.” David laid his heart open before God and asked Him to point out any sin, even to the level of testing his thoughts. In Colossians 2:7 we are directed to let our roots grow down and draw up nourishment in Him. This way we will become strong when we receive the truth. In Philippians 3:8, our gain is through knowing Christ. Count it all worthless if it is not in connection with a growing relationship with Christ. Therefore, cares, riches, and pleasures of life can cause unfruitfulness for us.
In John 15:4, the fruit of peacefulness is found by abiding in the vine. It reads “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.”
Obtaining PeacePeace is given to us as a gift from God. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27). And in Psalm 29:11, “The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace.”
There are conditions to obtaining peace:
Psalm 199:165 - “Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them."
Philippians 4:6,7 - “Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let you requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Psalm 37:11 - “But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.”
Romans 8:6 - “For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.”
Isaiah 26:3 - “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stay on thee: because he trusteth in me.”
Peace in the HomeReal peace comes from faith in God, because He alone embodies all the characteristics of peace. To find real peace you must find God. Let’s look at some of God’s people who lived in peace.
Isaiah 32:18 - “And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.”
Psalms 122:7 - “Peace be within thy walls, and prosperity within thy palaces.”
Peace Will Reign
Here are some suggestions on steps we can take to ensure that our home is as peaceful as possible:
1. Daily Morning Prayer
A day hemmed in prayer seldom unravels. I have this saying on a cross-stitch piece that hangs in my kitchen. My reaction to incidents with my children and husband during the day determines whether peace will prevail. For example, if I have placed prayer as being my first priority of the day, I will more likely respond in an
appropriate manner that will not disturb the peace that I want to rein in our home.
2. Watch Your Words
Did you ever stop and think how powerful words are? The Bible has quite a bit to say about the tongue. Proverbs 21:23 says: "Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles." Words can encourage, heal, build up, and bring life... or they can tear down and destroy. It is so easy in the heat of the moment to say cutting, unkind, hurtful things to our children or husbands. Careless, angry comments can leave their sting for a long time. Our children can be corrected without degrading words. Gentle, kind words diffuse anger and promote family harmony.
3. Regular Routines
All of us, children and adults alike, benefit from regular routines. When our meals, our bedtimes, our chores, and our children's schoolwork time are on a fairly predictable schedule, it gives us a sense of structure, self-discipline, which results peace of mind. Think about what happens to you when your schedule is
thrown off for some reason. Your kids might react negatively to an unstructured, confusing household.
4. Organized Home
This may not be an important factor for you, but I have no peace when my house is a mess. I truly believe it’s difficult for anyone to live in disorder. Spend time before the children's bedtime and create a quick pickup, so when you get up in the morning you don’t begin the day already set back with work. I can concentrate more clearly and set my homeschooling goals for the day when I don’t have to clean the house first.
5. Establish Rules and Consequences
Establish rules and consequences for your children's behavior. Be clear about what you expect, and consistently follow through with your corrections if they test the rules. Children are more insecure if they are unsure about what's expected, or if they feel that their parents don't have the follow-through to be firm. There is stability in knowing that you are in charge, not them.
6. The Past is Haunting Me
This point is an important one, because it can truly prevent you from walking more closely with the Lord. It can be difficult dealing with turmoil of the past. Christ said to bring your burdens to Him, and lay them at his feet. All our worries, hurts, emotional wounds, and concerns may be brought to Him, and He is willing to take them upon Himself and free us to do His work in our family and in our lives (Matthew 11:28).
I can remember when I had 5 of my 7 children under the age of 6, and I was a depressed crazy person. It took me several years before I was set free from the depression and anxiety. Most of it was due to a bad attitude and wrong thinking. It did steal my peace, just as something in your life may be stealing yours. Don’t let those things rob you of your future.
7. Live in Submission to Your Husband
Unfortunately, very few women have taken their wedding vows seriously. Or possibly they have a modern version of what being submissive means. Submitting to someone whom God has placed over you with loving authority is a relief, not a burden. It is an act of yielding or surrendering, and it has been given to us for protection and happiness. If you are resisting this aspect of God’s plan for the family, there will not be total peace in your home. When you have a high view of this calling and a biblical view of your responsibilities associated to this calling, your husband will be set free to live up to all God has called him to. You will find that the atmosphere in your home will change, and change for the good.
In ClosingThese suggestions may seem simple and obvious, but they can go a long way in promoting peace, harmony,and mutual respect in our homes. We as mothers and wives have tremendous influence over our families. None of us are perfect in these areas and we are human. But by positive words, structured routines, established rules, and order in our homes, we can begin to have a more peaceful and happy home. Above all, putting God in control will give you the strength and foundation you need to accomplish this high calling.
~This article was originally written by Donna Martin
for the Kindred Spirits Journal, Issue #7, Sept 2004~